Monday, June 02, 2008

Mixed Up.

I feel so mixed up lately. So jumbled and out of sorts.
I was terribly impatient with my children today.
I was glad to get a letter from a friend, with a sweet little gift attached.
I was sad to talk with my mom because she sounds sad (although she tries to hide it).

I've been
creator
teacher
discipler (sounds better than discipliner or punisher or whatever)
shopper
advisor
lifeguard
reader

And I feel so very unqualified for any of these tasks.

I can be happy. I can even really, really enjoy myself. But I wonder if I'll ever feel overjoyed again. Perhaps not. Perhaps this limit on happiness, the feeling, is one of my new normals.

1 comment:

Kimberlee said...

You will.

{{{HUGS}}}

But (almost 21 months for us). It will always hurt too.