Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

My precious, miracle baby will soon be a toddler.  At least age-wise.  She's not quite ready to walk yet (although my guess is that it'll happen in the next month).

This week has been one long walk down memory lane.
Last year at this time I had just gotten off 7 weeks of bedrest.  I was HUGE.  And Miriam was moving and kicking and pushing at me all the time.
On the 19th, I was taken off bedrest.  On the 20th I went to our new church for the first time (for a Sunday service).  One of my now-friends saw me for the first time and said to herself "whoa--that woman is REALLY pregnant!".  I took it fairly easy the other days, but on the 22nd arround 6 pm, my water broke.  And on the 23rd at 7:29 in the morning I gave the final (please, please, please!) push to bring Miriam into the world. 

My life changed utterly. 

I can't believe my baby is almost one.

I'm such a sappy mama.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Our play room is a functional room! Woo-hoo.

We're getting unpacked, still, but the downstairs looks more or less done.

Miriam will be one (!!) next week (the 23rd). I can't believe it! She's so close to walking, she's said her first word, besides mama and dada (dog) and she loves pointing at things and saying "da?" (that?).

We're hoping to get custody of my cousin's son through Pennsylvania's kinship care program. If we get custody now, we'll likely have custody until adulthood. Although we may never be able to officially adopt him, he would, in all other ways, be our child. He's 5 months older than Miriam. Pray for us as we pursue this.

I feel overwhelmed sometimes and I realize that I'm too worried about what others think. Who cares if my yard doens't look perfect? Who cares if my house isn't spotless? Who cares if the fabric I love for my living room is not loved by my friends. I mean, seriously, these things are not important. I'm learning contentment, but it's a hard, long, slow learning procss.

Well, I think I lied. I'm not learning contentment really, I'm struggling constantly. I'm not happy with myself, my home, etc. I'm very content with my child and husband, just not with *me*. I feel like such a loser sometimes. Why can't I stay motivated to do things other than sew, read and be with my child? Why do I care that my house is a mess and not DO anything about it? Argh.