Lancaster

Oh, how I love to visit my hometown. It's always happy and sad together because my little family loves spending time with my big family, but I'm reminded through-out the entire visit all that my kids are missing from not growing up where I grew up. They have trash, drunkards, prostitutes and bad lawn care. They're missing beautiful rolling fields, wide-open space and Meemaw, Pappy, Aunts, Uncles and cousins. But that's looking at the glass half-empty, isn't it?



They're memories of growing up will be nothing like my memories of growing up, except...EXCEPT...they will be good memories. Because although those things mentioned above are all around us, they are also surrounded by loving neighbors, friends galore, and a church community that I can't imagine being without.


And the memories they make while visiting Lancaster will be memories they will treasure.

Thankful.

I was thinking the other day of how thankful I am for all sort of little (yet big to me) things.

I’m thankful that I have wonderful friends on whom I can completely rely. For instance, Noah and I went to help my sister-in-law, Heidi, with her two children, one of whom had just had surgery. I was supposed to be gone a little less than a week. My friends helped out and really took care of Chris, Alex and Miriam while Noah and I were gone. When my stay got extended, not only did my friends help out more, but they did my work (as in my I-get-paid-for-this work) for me, too.



I’m thankful that we didn’t pursue getting our windows installed by the company that now seems to have vanished off the face of the earth.

I’m thankful that many of the things I worry about (carseats, vaccines, diapers, toys, etc) are really a sign of just how good I have it.

I'm thankful for 3 children who are creative and full of energy and full of love.

I'm thankful for a husband who is truly a partner, who respects me, who works hard for our family, and whose purpose is not defined by us or other people.

Will he *ever* wean??

I’ve said that I wanted Noah to wean when he was ready…but he’s going on 31 months (that’s almost THREE!) with no signs of weaning. Well, that’s not entirely true. He’ll go days without nursing, then suddenly say, “Murr, Mama?” about 51,000 times.

I’m not really complaining, because I know I could wean him at any time if I truly wanted to and besides, would you say “no” to this face?


Besides, he’s probably my last baby—Do I really want him to grow up so fast?

Just FYI, I have no idea why he is pouting in this picture. I was taking pics of all the kids at Miriam's pirate birthday party; perhaps he didn't want his pic taken?

Madeleine L'Engle, 1918-2007

So much has been written about Madeleine L'Engle in the last couple of days, and although my first thought on reading the NY Times Obit was that she wouldn't have liked being classified as a Children's author, I do think it's a nice piece. You can read it here, unfortunately you have to log in.

It's easy to find out all about why Ms L'Engle was important to the world, but this is why she's so important to me:

Back in May of 1997, I’d been out of college for a year and was working for Borders. One of my very good friends from college had been a huge Madeleine L’Engle fan, so when I saw her latest book was available in hardcover, I snapped it up. I completely fell in love with the book and thought perhaps I could find some sites about L’Engle on the good ol’ world wide web. I found Bonastra.

I joined the discussion community and was thrilled to find others who love L’Engle’s writing. I had some questions about issues that were raised because of her writing, so I contacted the community “manager” because 1) I could tell he held beliefs similar to my own, 2) he seemed “wise”.

The manager, Chris, and I started emailing back and forth a couple times a week. I assumed, because of his writing style, that we was much older than me. I was a bit flustered when I discovered he was my own age exactly (23 at the time).


In September of that year, Chris made a trip from Indianapolis to the East coast and stopped at my parents’ home for an afternoon/evening. It was awkward, not at all romantic, but yet still interesting, to meet the person I had been writing to for 4 months. After this trip, there were many long phone calls, real letters and mix tapes (!!!) traveling between Indiana and PA.

In November, I made a trip to Indianapolis. It was during this trip (only the second time to meet IRL) that Chris and I decided to see if our weird online/long distance relationship could work.

In January, I moved to Indy, where I was transferred by Borders. Despite how it appears, we were in no real hurry. I lived with a family from his church, until I moved in with a friend. We got engaged in December of 1999 and were married in August of 2000. I met my best friend, lover and partner all because of Madeleine L’Engle.

I hope that children, youth and adults continue to read and pass down the love of her books. I hope that people read more than the typical "Time Quartet" and delve into some of her more obscure books (more on those in the next few days).

My husband just told me about another obit/memorial article here.
He would highly recommend it (I'm off to read it now).

Handmade/Locally made Christmas

Since this post will be virtually photo-free, I thought I'd include an oldy-but-goody of Noah "helping" me knit a blanket.

I've been itching to get some real crafting done, but I feel bogged down and un-creative b/c of the state of my intensely cluttered craft room. Reading Hilary's blog yesterday really inspired me to get off my duff and do something about that clutter. So, expect to see some before and after pics next week. Jena, if you're reading this, keep me accountable!

I've got lots of things planned for Christmas. We give each of our kids 3 gifts and a stocking. Most years the stocking stuffers end up being junky little things and this year I'd really like to make them some cool stuffers. Also, Chris and I decided to be a bit old-fashioned and give them each a nice orange (which they all LOVE) and some cool candies. I'd love to find some neat old-timey candies.

I'm keeping a list here of what I'd like to make and how well I'm accomplishing it.

Each of the kids are getting a suitcase from Pottery Barn Kids. (We got them for $15 a piece, gotta love the outlets--and sisters who drive to the outlets and buy them for you!) Now, I need 2 more gifts for each kid.

Alex- No ideas yet

Miriam- No ideas yet

Noah- A hobby horse. I'm using this pattern from Fern and Faerie. My mil had made one like it for Chris, which they gave to our kids, but Alex broke it.

Stockings-
Crayon rolls like this one:

I've got great fabrics picked out for each kid. Robots and gadgets for the boys and blue and brown various designs for Miriam.

I've got so much else floating around in my head, but the kids are asking me to help them make a tent.

IQ.

I've been spending a ridiculous amount of time looking up high school and college classmates on MySpace (especially since I'm not spending much time online right now.)

I have so many mixed feelings (he looks so YOUNG! She was in my class?, etc), so instead I'll post this, cuz it makes me feel all better. (And we know that internet IQ quizzes are so very acurate):

Projects

I've got a few things to work on in the next two days. We're going to see my parents so that I can help my mom get her classroom in order. She just had surgery and isn't quite up to her normal (super crazy) level of activity. We're also going to celebrate my nephew Moses's first birthday. So, I have to make his bday present, make a gift for my sister (a thank you for letting us stay with them), and I really want to make a couple of I-Spy pillow for a couple of her friends. We'll see what gets done.

For now, I'll show you a little knitting project that finally got completed and handed off to it's recipient. Here's Pinwheel:


And here's the best part of my post. My dear friend Jena and her husband Kate just welcomed their first little one. You can read about it on her blog. There's a pic and a wonderful birth story.

Some Craftiness

I've been very intrigued by some of the neat Waldorf/natural/handmade crafts that seem to abound on the internet. I made Alex a Waldorf doll for Christmas and it was HARD...I know why people charge upwards of $100 for them! However, I've found a neat craft that I can actually do--Bendy dolls. Here are my first ones:



If you want to see some that are made much better than mine, check out Mother Hues or Natural Playthings. I love these 2 sites.

Delay, delay, delay...

I suck at updating this blog. I hope to be a bit more regular about it, but I've said that before, so we shall see.

To catch up:

Miriam turned 3 the end of July, so I have 2 3 year olds now. Noah is 16 months and his lovely curly hair is getting long enough that people ask me if "that little girl" is mine.
Does he look like a girl to you?


At the beginning of the month we went on a week long visit to the New Meadow Run community, one of the many Bruderhof communities world-wide. The daily life there was very, very different than what any of us are accustomed to. Either Chris or I dropped the kids off at the "babyhouse" at 7:30 each day; then we went about the work we had set out for us. The kids ate lunch AND dinner with their age groups and were picked up at 5. We then had family time and put the kids to bed so that we could attend the evening meal (grade 5 and up) at 7. I thought the kids would HATE this (I wasn't so sure I'd like it--I really enjoy staying home with the kids and I've chosen to do that very thing). However, the kids loved it. Noah and Alex were especially glad to see us each evening, but all three kids simply loved being in their groups. Noah even started going on the potty, like all his little classmates. Miriam would have been fine to spend even more time with her group, but she always ran to us and hugged us, too.

I'd love to process some of our expereiences some more, but I hope to write more about them, too:

Here are some pics from that trip.





(forgive the awful pic of me--I blame it all on the fibroids and hernia!)

A story to tell

http://palmerlp.livejournal.com

Palmer's story is one of redemption, hope, heartache and grace. I wish everyone had been reading of the last 3 years.

Heartbreak.

So much pain and bad news today.

Dear friends hurting and being hurt, trying to muddle their way through their heartbreak.

Mark Palmer has died and left this earth, but we trust that he is painfree and surrounded by love that we can only begin to imagine. Our hearts hurt and we pray for peace for Amy and Micah.

I do not understand this. I can not make sense of it.

tagged

I've been tagged by Amy and I find these little things rather fun (it's great for those of us who are so tired we can't think of anything to write and yet want to, desperately.

four jobs i've had in my life:
- Waitress
- Barista
- Bookseller
- Bookkeeper

four movies i can watch o'er and o'er:
- Love Actually (promise I'm not copying)
- Lord of the Rings trilogy
- first 3 Star Wars
-

four places i have lived:
- Lancaster, PA
- Cincinnati, OH
- Houghton, NY
- Indianapolis, IN

four tv shows i love to watch:
(we don't have a tv, sadly for me)

four places i have been on vacation:
- Ocean City, MD
- Los Angeles, CA
- Paris, France
- Minneapolis, MN

four of my favorite dishes:
- Home made Macaroni and Cheese
- Any Pasta with Alfredo Sauce
- Amish BBQ Chicken from Lancaster--mmmmm
- Rita's Italian Ice

four websites i visit daily:
- dooce.com
- amitymama.com
- bloglines.com (and then onto many, many blogs
- sewingmamas.com

four places i would rather be:
- Lancaster, PA
- Kalona, IA
- Ephrata, PA
- Anywhere relaxing (with my family, naturally)

four bloggers i tag:
- Jena
- Chris
(I think I've read this already on all the other blogs, but feel free to join in!)

Oh, and the reason...

I've not been too inclined the write down much in this here blog, because I have some strong ideas of where I want it to go, more into the crafty-parenting spectrum (as opposed to just parenting). However, I'm really not happy with the herculean effort need to upload my pictures to my computer and then to get them to blogger. The "easy upload" feature on blogger doesn't work for me and despite numerous emails asking for help, I've receieved nothing but form e-mails. Sigh.

So, as soon as we figure out the picture problem, I'm sure I'll post more.

Well, ummm...

It's been a long time. We've been doing find here, preparing for Alex's 3rd birthday! (All he wants is a "boo coo cay!"--blues clues cake).

Alex's speech is coming along really well and with that comes greater assertion of his will. He's very good at giving me a teen-agery sounding O-AY, MOM! When I ask him to do something. Miriam is discovering that Alex will not always bend to her will. I'm proud of that boy. Miriam is not one to be crossed. He's a brave one.

Last week Miriam hit one of her friends and I grabbed her arm to make her look at me and:
"Miriam! We do NOT hit!"
"Mama! We do NOT pinch!"
"I'm not pinching you."
"Yes, you ARE!"

She's been running around the house barking like a dog and licking people. We have to remind her, when we're out in public, that although she is allowed to bark, licking strangers is a no-no.

Noah has been teething lately is wants to held often. When I get overwhelmed by all I have to do, I remind myself that he'll be little for such a short time. He's really a delightful, loving, smiley little boy. He's almost 11 months old. It's funny that although he has both "girl" and "boy" toys surrounding him, he's gravitated to cars, trains, keys, etc. Although he does also love the little strawberry shortcake dolls. I wonder if we inadvertantly do something that makes him go toward those things. We generally don't hand him toys--we let him discover them for himself.

I do wonder what's up with my children. I could never have weaned either of them by a year (not that I wanted to), not without some drama. Noah is as attached to my breasts as he was 6 months ago. It doesn't bother me, in fact, secretly I'm glad that I must make some fine milk--they both nursed far more than they ate solid foods--even at ten months. Because my doctor suggested delaying solids until a year b/c of Noah's mammoth size, this works out well all around.

Everything is Rent

I couldn't stand waiting anymore and went to see the movie on Saturday night. I seriously had goosebumps during parts of it ("Seasons of Love", The Life Cafe Scene, "Take me for what I am"). I didn't love, love, love it, but I would definitely reccommend it to people who loved the play. I'll buy it when it comes out on DVD, too...so take that for what it's worth. I'm not feeling up to writing much of a review, but I will say I agree with much of what Roger Ebert says..and you can read that here. (Except, since I am a lover of the play, I'd give it 4 stars.)

I have the flu and feel yucky. That's why this isn't longer. Perhaps I'll edit later.

Midnight Showing

I went to the theater last night to see Harry Potter. Well worth the exhaustion I feel this morning. It was fun to pretend for one night that I didn't have 3 kids waiting to wait me up at their eariest convenience the next morning.

My advice to all who go see this movie is in three parts. 1)Remember that the book was approximately 5 million pages long and that the only way to get all the details in the movie would be to make a 6 hour BBC production from it (and then it would still piss people off. So, not worth it). 2)Because of all that was cut out, try not to be too attached to your favorite book scene. It probably isn't in the movie. 3)If you want to reread the book before you see the movie and you haven't done so already, don't.

That being said, I liked it. I wasn't too sure after the first 20 minutes (you'll understand when you see it), but I actually think "they" did a good job of cropping the story down to manageable form without losing the INTENT of the book. There are major scenes and characters missing (I'll tell you if you wanna be prepared, but I don't want to post here; I'd like to keep my friends happy with me). There were still some jarring moments (first 20 minutes), but once I acclimated myself to the style, I was fine.

I like Neville; I'm glad he was more "present" in this movie. Fred and George are perfectly cast and this movie plays them up a bit more. Ron has grown on me (and has grown, period). Hermione is, of course, too pretty, but I kinda like that in a movie girl. Cho has a charming accent. Harry looks perfectly awkward and gangly and properly "child/adult" for this year of his life. McGonagall is a favorite and although neither she nor Snape had large rolls, they both got out-loud laughs from me. I really like Mad-Eye, too.

Well, that's as good as I can do with 4 hours of sleep.

IMCPL is cool, can you believe it?

About a week ago, I requested that our local library purchase the Denyse Schmidt quilt book everyone's been talking about on the craft blogs.

Look what I found today!

Now, I'm not a total ego-maniac. Probably lots of people requested this (someone put it on hold before me--blast them!)...but they listen; they really listen!!!

Raising Non-Violent Children?

Any ideas from anyone on books?
Any ideas from anyone, period?

It amazes me every day the subtle (and not-so-subtle) things our kids see that fly in the face of what we're trying to teach them. For example, there was an ad on a website that showed a man shooting a bird. Now, I'm not getting into any hunting arguments here, but any picture of a person shooting anything is violent. My kids didn't see the picture (they're aren't interested in the computer), but that's what got me to thinking.

I've read some great articles in Mothering, but the articles often assume that you are surrounded by those who agree with you. Our closest friends are, for the most part, in agreement. But the majority of people in our neighborhood, city and state do not. So, how do combat the daily doses of violence kids are subjected to?

We don't watch T.V. at all, although we do watch DVDs. We read tons of books. We try to model gentle ways in our parenting.

Any other ideas?

Just found this funny old picture of Miriam. It's rather appropriate for this day, as she's a bit, um, overgrown in the hair department. I don't trust my skill with the blades and Christmas (and my sister's stylist skills) are too far away...I think I may actually take her to one of the kiddie hair cut places. I can't even believe myself, but there you have it.

All 3 of my kids are asleep right now--at 3 pm. Miracles do happen.

Off to cut out a cool dress for Princessa using painting red rhinos fabric and an Ottobre pattern. My first Ottobre pattern. Will post pics if my hubby fixes our USB port.

Store Wars

My mom and I have been talking about supporting local farmers, etc...and she emailed me this link today. It's very funny and smart, but mostly I think someone had a LOT of time on their hands--all those little details!

Store Wars

Inspiration/Frustration

I had a pretty inspiring couple of days. I went to hear Wendell Berry speak last night as part of the Spirit and Place Festival. It also coincided with a conference with the Ekklesia Project. So I spent two days being really inspired about staying and commiting to the people, place, commmunity we live in. (We also met some really cool people and their adorable daughter. I have to say, too, that Ragan Sutterfield was inspiring to talk to and I would have attended a conference with him as the main speaker. I was bummed b/c Chris really wanted a chance to speak with him and didn't get to.)

Tonight we went to another Spirit and Place event that was sponsored by Slow Food Indy on the slow food lifestyle, primarily buying and eating sustainable, locally grown food. Chris and I were really inspired. First of all, we eat too much. Second of all, I do the grocery shopping and I'm very susceptible to buying junk. Third of all, if we commited to eating in a different way, we'd both lose weight. Fourth of all, we'd be supporting our neighbors.

However, the food is just so expensive! Local, organic milk runs from $5-$10 a gallon. Eggs are $3 a dozen. Everything is about double the price. It's a HUGE cut in the amount of food we'd be able to buy. That's our frustration.

So this is our plan--use all but $15-20 of our weekly grocery budget to buy from our local, organic farmer's market, held at Trader's Point Creamery. and to try to base our meals around food available locally during this season (this will admittedly get harder in winter, as we didn't put ANYTHING up this year, not even applesauce!). We haven't been going to the market for awhile, because the prices were so high, but after tonight's session we understand better WHY they are so high and the importance of buying from local famers, despite the price.

We'll use the remaing $15-$20 for things we need from the regular store (tp, oil, etc). We'll see how it goes. Here are some of the venders we like at the farmer's Market. Sharritt Market Gardens, Apple Family farm,Brown Family Farm (we buy most of our stuff from Craig and Katie Brown and they are very, very nice), and The Swiss Connection. Every one of these farmers, except for the Brown family, were at the meeting tonight and I got to speak with them in depth for the first time. I have to say that Mr. Sharritt is funny, funny, funny--I dont' know why I found him so intimidating at the market before.

Anyway, here's my inspiration/frustration post written on adrenaline and probably impossible to understand.

Alex and Miriam were with other people about 90% of today and they did great. I love my little ones.

More kids pics.

I found some great ones of Alex from earlier in October. We went to a pumpkin patch nearby, went on a hay ride, picked a pumpkin, climbed on hay, etc. We didn't get any good pics of all the kids together, but I managed to get really cute ones of both Alex and Miriam.

Here's Miriam, loving the world. Doesn't she look so much older than just-turned-two in this pic?



Alex loves all things on wheels--cars, bikes, trucks, motorcycles. His favorite toys are cars (big and small) and keys (preferably real ones). No wonder he looks so at home during the hay ride:



I found this pic of Miriam from several months ago and it's notable for two reasons. 1) It shows the lovely dress
Jena made for her. 2) She looks so darn cute.



Alex has taken to running away. He's not mad or upset, he just likes to walk. So he puts on a "ba pa" and goes on his way. Recently he's gotten Miriam into the act and since they learned to open the doors they don't even take the time to find backpacks, they just take any opportunity they can to make a break for it. Here's a pic from Alex's first time "running away."



And finally, a lovely picture of my Monster Baby--Dinosaur Noah. (He's pictured with the amazing Dinosaur Simeon, who is destined to be his best friend, because, well, both their Moms say so!)




In other news, I working on my first Waldorf doll. I got a kit from Joy's Waldorf Dolls. Either I'm getting better at sewing or Joy has the best instructions ever b/c I'd heard that these dolls were a PITA to make, but it's coming along really nicely so far. I made the head tonight, which I'd been dreading, but it really looks good. I even gave the little guy a nose.

The doll is for Alex for Christmas. I planned on the doll being a boy, but I keep saying "she" in my head while making it. Perhaps it'll be a very short haired girl baby? May Alex can decide.

I'll post pics soon (I even took some in progress ones), but since our USB port isn't working (ARGH), it's a PITA to upload pics. Blah.

Blogging frenzy

Only 17% of people got this result. That means I'm cool, right? Right? (update--I just checked out all the options and Moly was the second to most common answer people got. HA. Not so cool after all, just like I expected.)


YOU ARE MOLY


What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Brightness and Wonder...

That's what I thought tonight after witnessing one of the sweetest moments in mothering so far. Miriam and Alex are both very into holding my hand recently, especially to go down stairs. We were leaving the house and I was already on the sidewalk when Miriam started fussing about needing to hold my hand. I was on my way back to her, but Alex beat me to it. He went up the stairs, took her hand and helped her down. They held hands the whole way to Denise's house and back. I smiled the whole way.

Remember when the only part of her body to touch his was her teeth? Sigh...so glad those days are (mostly) over.

Oh, another thing I have to do recently is carry their sippy cups everywhere for them--because "they're too heavy, Mommy!"

525,600 Minutes

I just watched the trailers for Rent. You need to check them out here. I’ve got goose bumps. There’s this small part of me (the remaining bits of fundamentalism stuck in the cracks) that thinks I should be at least partially horrified by parts of this story, but there just seems to be something real about it. A glossy, movified, musical real, but real nonetheless.

I may go to see this musical by myself b/c I don’t want anyone ruining it for me.

My husband used to say that musicals were stupid b/c people don’t really break out into song like that. Then he spent a weekend at my parents’ home. HA. The Von Newswanger Family Singers.

I could be making a cool art project with my kids. I could be making roasted pumpkin seeds with my kids. I could be sewing something FOR my kids. Instead, I’m online getting goose bumps over movie trailers. Where are my kids? Watching TV. I’m such a slacker mom sometimes.

The Mighty Three

Picture Pages, Picture Pages

Here are the three in all their Hallowe'en glory.

Look at this big baby! Can you blame me for not slingin' him too often? He weighs approximately 1/2 a ton at 7 months old. Phew!



Alex has recently decided that he doesn't like pictures very much. Perhaps I take too many? It's a shame, too, because he has got the cutest dimples I've ever seen (yes, I know I'm biased). This is his I-don't-want-another-picture-Mommy! look. Enjoy:



Senor Tucan, in all her (his?) glory. Yes, Miriam think she's in charge of the world:



Finally, the four of us (man, I onlyl realize how house-wifey I look when I see these pics. Oh, well. I guess that was my costume):



I suck at uploading and editing pictures. It takes SOOOOOOOO long. I wish I knew the tricks of some of these picture-heavy bloggers. I envy them--big green time.

"Trick or Treating"

Yesterday was a crazy day. Noah and I are both sick (he with an ear infection and possible strep, me with strep), but the trick or treating must go on!! Miriam was a parrot (although we called her Senor Tucan from Dora) and Alex was an M&M. I'll show pics as soon as we get a new USB cord.

ALex said "ah ah ah ing" to everyone. Why the "ing"? Because Miriam was convinced that you had to say "trick or treating" and that's exactly what she said--so cute!

She's been saying amazingly cute and funny things lately--it's neat to see a little one learn her way around language. She keeps saying "Yes, I'd be happy to do that." whenever I ask for her help. If she's not happy with something I've said she goes "Mama, THAT'S not a rule!"

She saw Melissa coming toward our yard the other day and said "Melissa! It's a wonderful day!!"

Denise asked her last week what she had been up to that day and she said "oh, you know, the usual."

I'm in trouble if she can say all this at 27 months! What will 3 bring? :) I'll worry about that later and savor this time now.

Noah has been pulling himself around in an inchworm crawl for about a month and is so close to crawling that I can't stand it! He get around so well with his inchworm crawl, though, that he doesn't seem too motivated to attempt anything different.

Alex has been getting sweeter and sweeter. He pushes buttons, of course, what 2.5 year old doesn't?? He keeps giving me impromtu kisses. I love it. It's amazing how much it can lighten my mood to have my little boy come up and suddenly give me a kiss. Today when I picked them up at Preschool one of the little boys was trying to take my hand and Alex ran up and said, "NO! MY Mommy!" Another milestone in adopting toddlers. :)

Crafty Mama

Well, I just finished 5,000 cloth gift bags for a sewing swap I'm contributing to. All right, it was only 33 bags, but I am so glad to be done!!! I want to make some kids items for the swap as well. I'm hoping to make some crayon rolls using the directions from this site.
Waldorf crafts are so so so cool.

I really enjoy sewing. I just need to slow down and worry more about turning out good things than turning out a ridiculous number of things. I'm really happy with how the bags turned out and I've made Miriam a few outfits lately that I'm truly proud of. Now, I just need to tackle some baby clothing and some diapers and I'll be ready for the coming of the second and third wave of Newswanger babies.

My goal for 2006--To make all summer clothes for the kids (except for things they receive from others as gifts or hand-me-downs).

Speaking of hand-me-downs. Miriam is set for fall thanks to my wonderful Aunt Sheryl, who passes down all the clothing her girls outgrow. The clothes are cute and in super good shape. Sheryl must be a laundry goddess b/c Miriam's clothes get stained so easily (of course that might have more to do with her tendency to make art projects out of all her food. Including marshmallows.)

Short story--Alex puts on his own shoes almost everyday. He often gets them on the wrong feet, but he LOVES to have his shoes on and is determined to do it himself. Anyway, after nap yesterday he came downstair in just a t-shirt and diaper...but he had his shoes on! I wish that I could type the way he talks b/c it's so so cute sometimes. Since he doesn't say consonants most of the time, it can be pretty funny, too. He has sponge bob sandals that someone gave him. We don't watch TV here, but he must know sponge bob from his foster hom, b/c he says "spuh bah".

I love that little man!

Poop in the Potty. Poop goes in the Potty

Oh, yeah. Nothing like a good Poopsmith Song. Ya gotta check out Over the Rhine's website to hear the music, but we've been singing this song a little too often in our house. But you know what? It's working! Alex has been telling us for 3 days when he has to go potty. I honestly never imagined how excited I would be about my child's potty training! Go, Alex!!

Miriam is intrigued, too, and often asked to try after Alex is done. Positive peer pressure, case in point.

How did it know??

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

There is no shadow of turning...

I learned to spin this weekend. I *love* it. I'm telling people the creation of my own little ball of yarn is second only to giving birth to my kids. I'll post pics when I get a chance to upload.

I'm reading a book by Chuck Klosterman and it's getting *really* hard to finish it; but I feel like I'm watching a train wreck--I'm disgusted and intrigued at the same time. I have to finish it. And so I will...but If I start using ANYWAY or saying a) this and b) that, you have the right to call me on it.

I guess I'm over the whole self-absorbed memoir books where the author seems to be in love with how well he can use puns and how cannily he can make fun of others (or himself) and how doing drugs must make him cool or trendy or something. I'd rather read blogs.

And frankly, I'm not so sure I can trust a guy who falls in and out of love so readily and then compares his loves to the members (or hangers on) of KISS.

In other news, Noah was fussing today and when I went to check on him I saw that he had managed to get out of the infant carseat, turn over, and get across the carpet to his toys. That is one determined 5 month old.

My grandma is in the hospital again. They think she has pneumonia and has had a stroke. My dad found her lying on the floor of her apartment this morning.

My daughter keep making huge leaps in her conversation skills. She amazes me. She remembers things from weeks ago; she memorizes and "reads" her books to herself; she tells me long stories about her day--She only just turned 2! Yes, I am her mother and Yes, I am aware of the bias that presents, but I think she rocks.

Alex loves to laugh and loves to make others laugh. He obsessed with cars. When we come out of the store, I always ask the kids where our car is, and Alex always finds it right away. However, recently he's been making a little joke of pointing out all the cool cars he'd rather have and saying "OUR car!" HA.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. . .

Tonight was better than this afternoon. This afternoon was better than last night. Hopefully it will continue to get better by degrees and I won’t go completely insane. Both the toddlers are going through an intense “mama” stage—to the point that “Daddy” won’t even do! It makes nap and bedtimes almost impossible, but Alex allowed Chris to put him to bed tonight and Miriam fell asleep really quickly. All three of our kids were asleep in bed (except Noah was downstairs on the floor!) by 9:30. Miracles do happen.

I got so frustrated with Alex today that I finally just put him in his room for nap and walked away. I was at an anger point I do not wish to get to again. However, I managed to talk nicely to him and get him calmed down a bit before I walked away. He was still fussing, but he fell asleep pretty quickly. It’s so hard to have a going-on-three-year-old who is basically non-verbal. And since he’s only been with us for 3 months, we haven’t learned all his ways of communicating. That’s getting better, too, though.

Sometimes I wish that my mom or someone lived with me and could be home with me every day helping out. Oh, how clean my house would be! How nice it would be for each toddler to have an adult to hold them! Well, I’ll make it work; I always do. Some day we’ll look back at these first days and think “Thank Goodness that’s over…thank God we got through it!”

Pressus Baby

Ever since Miriam was a baby, I have been singing a little song to the tune of “Are you Sleeping?” The simple lyrics, “I love Miriam…yes I do…She’s my precious baby…I love her,” were easy to sing while I rocked her and read something else. It’s amazing, though, how those little songs stick in a child’s mind.

She’s been going through an “I do it mySELF” stage, insisting that she’s a “big girl!”. However, last week, when she was overtired and sobbing one day, I said, “Miriam, you’re a big girl, can you calm down and tell me what’s wrong?” She, still sobbing, cried “I pressus baby!”

Today as I walked Alex and Miriam upstairs for a nap, Alex asked me to pick him up. I replied, “Alex, You’re a big boy—I want you to walk up the stairs.” Miriam, who was ahead of us, turned around and said, “*I* pressus baby!”

She most definitely is!

New Pictures Galore

Here's precious Moses Kye:


Four Generations of Smith Men:


Alex Having the Time of His Life:


Miriam and her best friend "Sosia":


Princessa Miriam:

PictureThis

This is Alex, Miriam and our friend Jena in June. I'll post more recent pics soon.

I'm an aunt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moses Kye Kapp was born at 1:56 a.m. on August 24. He's 8 lbs (at almost 2 weeks early!!) and 20 3/4 inches long. After almost 24 hours of tough labor and 3 hours of pushing, my sister's someday coming child was finally in her arms.

It still makes me teary to think about it.

I can't wait to meet you, Moses! Your parents have dreamed of you; worried for your safe arrival and have worked hard to prepare to take care of you. They have prayed for you since before you were even conceived. What a blessing you are. Welcome to the world, little one!

Life is crazy...

So much has happened...
Alex Robert joined our family is June. He's been adjusting well, although there are tough days as we learn to love each other like family. He calls me Mama and smiles so big when he sees me that it makes things easier.

Noah contiues to be a mammoth baby--he's almost 21 pounds at almost 5 months old--phew!! He is the most calm, easy-going baby I've ever encountered. He is a major blessing in the midst of all our craziness.

Miriam is getting cuter and funnier and more challeging. Today she counted to 13--not bad for a just-turned-2-year-old. The newest thing I love the most is that she sings WITH me now. She used to stop singing if I started to sing--I love being able to sing with her--even if the "farmer in the down" climbs up the water spout! ;) She says so many cute things I must start writing down or I'll never remember them. She seems adjusted to Alex...when she gets up in the morning she runs over to Alex's room to see if "my bruder's awake." Amazing how he always is! ;)

I'm a bit overwhelmed and my doctor reccommended some medication, but I'm just not feeling there, yk? I'm hoping to avoid the medication thing, although I'll use it if I need it. I just hate being a stay-at-home-prozac-cliche. At least the prozac would be free (thank you, Lilly).

Chris took 8 weeks off work to help Alex adjust to being in our family (and help us all adjust to him being in our family, too). Chris just went back to work last week--he didn't want to, though. It's going well and we have some plans for the future that help us both to smile more.

Over.

One Month Old

Noah James is one month old today. He is the size of a three month old. Miriam seems to really like him, but she doesn't like sharing me or her daddy. Any time I sit down to feed Noah, she cries.

We went to the playground ("kaygown!") yesterday. Miriam climbed to the second level of the equipment and then decided that she didn't want to go down the slide. AND she didn't want to climb back down. So there she was crying for me to get her and there I was slinging the baby, trying to figure out how I was going to get my fat butt up there to rescue her. Luckily, our friend Pete came along and climbed up there and slide down the slide with Miriam. SAVED. I love our church friends.

Here are pics from the playground:

Notice how thrilled Noah looks with his sister.


I have more pictures, but apparently I've lost my mind and forgot to upload them. Oh, well.

An incidental Pete note: His name is Pete Potter and when Miriam was playing on the Teeter Totter the other day, she was singing "Peter Potter" over and over. Funny girl.

My kiddos

Here are some recent cute (yes, I'm biased) pics of my kids.

Miriam sleeping...this is her typical pose--Butt in the air, eyes 1/2 open (kinda creepy, honestly).


Noah sleeping on the back porch. This was one of our lovely sunny days that seem so distant already.


Noah's first bath. He didn't really like the water, but washing his hair went just fine. He's opposite of his sister, all right.


Miriam's crazy after-bath hair:


We went out for Dairy Queen last week. Miriam loved Mama's Moolatte, as evidenced in the photo below:


We had some wonderful people over after church last night and got this priceless pic of all the baby boys together. From left to right: Benjamin (Benny Goodboy), Noah, and Kairos--BFF (lol).

Back to life

Chris is back to work; I'm adjusting to having both kids by myself. Yesterday went really well. My friend Patty came over and hang out for while; she brought me greek food, too. Yummy. Miriam and Noah were well behaved, considering their ages.

Today, however, was crazy. Miriam threw a 45 minute fit b/c I wouldn't give her candy. It was an award winning fit, too...complete with deep shuddering breaths, attempts to bit and hit and beating the floor with hands and feet. I vacillated between being horrified and thinking she was cute (those cryin hiccups really are cute). I called Chris to get some adult feedback, but he was in a meeting (damn).

We're going back to being a candy-free zone. Miriam just can't handle the sweets and her mama and daddy don't need them. I'll still make cookies and stuff like that, but no hershey's kisses, etc.

I'm 1/2 way finished with knitting Miriam's shirt ("mama's knit me a shirt!"). It's the apron top from the Little Turtle Knits website.

I had more to say, but I'm so tired I forgot it.

The Blues

Things are going well here. Miriam is adjusting to sharing her Mamacita and her Daddy with Noah. Of course some of that adjustment involves assaulting other kids with her teeth, but we're dealing with that. Noah is still sleeping a lot and nursing a lot and barely ever crying. How did I get so lucky??? The most he's cried was when he was assaulted by the above mentioned muncher.

Chris has the week off. I'm hoping he gets some down time. He's hoping so, too. However, he also wants to get some work done on our upstairs bathroom and he's ending up being a bit of a nursemaid to his wife.

Because I am not doing so fine. It's getting better every day, but the worry and fear threaten to take me over. I actually catch myself thinking "I better not say I'll do that b/c I might be dead by then." It sounds silly seeing it written down, but it doesn't feel silly.

I hate that I had to deliver my child surgically and that it was a bit complicated. I hate that I have to deal with normal surgery recovery on top of baby blues and hormone craziness.

It helps to see how precious my kids are.

On an entirely different note, the new Knitty is up and I'm enjoying looking over some of the patterns. This one actually even shows a plus size woman modeling a version of the sweater. Too bad I don't think it looks so good on her. Blasted size 1 model. I think this bag and this "wheelie" are great.

I've got a list of approx 5,000 knitting projects to do, so probably I won't do any of these anyway, but it's fun to look! :)

Noah is here!!

Noah entered the world at 10:43 a.m. on Saturday, March 26th.

Here's a pic. Note the weight.



It's not a joke--10 lbs, 11 oz. All the stats--21 1/2 inches long and 15 inch circumference on the head.

The actual surgery was the worst experience of my life--no exaggeration. I was told by numerous Drs and nurses that mine was not the typical c-section. The uterus was twisted, fibroids were in the way and they had trouble getting the bleeding to stop. However, I have a wonderful baby boy and that will certainly outweigh any negative.

Typical section or not, I have new respect for women who have undergone one--esp. after laboring for hours as well! Phew!

Here's another pic from just a few minutes ago. He had just nursed. It's amazing to me that you don't really need to *teach* babies to nurse--you may need to help them nurse better, but they certainly are born knowing what to do.

Non-Stress?!?!

I went to the doctor for a non-stress test for the baby on Wednesday because I wasn't feeling nearly as much movement as usual. The baby did fine with the test, but it appears he's still breech, so we have a c-section scheduled for Saturday at 9 am. There is still time for him to turn, however unlikely that is. At the appointment I made the comment that no woman WANTS to have a c-section and the nurse said "well, some women do, but they don't come to this practice because they know Dr. S won't do them unless necessary." That was really reassuring to me. I already knew that Dr. S has the reputation for not doing c-sections, but it was a reminder I needed. Dr. S said she feels a section is safest at this point and I feel confident in trusting her judgment.

My parents are arriving tonight and Chris's parents are coming for a few hours tomorrow. Miriam is not going to know what to do with BOTH sets of grands here. She's going to be so happy, she'll be running around in circles.

Speaking of Miriam. Yesterday afternoon was warm and sunny so we were sitting outside when Chris got home. He sat down with us and after a bit, Miriam walked off toward the van and said "bye-bye, mama!" She went to the van and tried to open the front door. After failing at that she came back to me and said "I need keys." (Chris and I are laughing by now, of course). I told her to ask her daddy and she said "Key, please", took the keys he offered and tried to get into the van again. Oh, my...I wish I were I better writer so I could describe just how funny this was.

Finally...I received in the mail today a certain CD that's being released officially on Tuesday. It's supposed to be for my birthday (also Tuesday), but I opened the mail, knowing that it had to be the CD. I got my husband to allow me to have it now--mostly by pleading and muttering "i'm having SURGERY tomorrow" under my breath. It's wonderful and I'm off to listen again. Thanks, Over the Rhine, for a wonderful birthday gift!!

When will He Come?

Well, my doctor still hasn't scheduled a section, she wants to give this baby as much chance as possible to turn. I've done all sorts of strange things like staying on my hands and knees, lying inverted on a board, putting peas behind the baby's head, etc...nothing has worked so far. I'm not giving up, but I honestly think this baby is too squished in there to move. He's probably big (around hi-8 lbs) and then I have all those fibroids.

I have another Dr's appt on Thursday, so we'll see what she says then.

Miriam and I made Whoopie Pies this weekend. She loves putting ingredients into the mixing bowl. She loves mixing, too, but that results in batter being splattered literally all over the kitchen, so she doesn't get to do that too often. Here's a pic of Mama's little helper:


Here is the recipe for the whoopie pies:
INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
5 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup shortening
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 pinch salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets.
To Make Cookies: In a large bowl cream 1/2 cup of shortening , 1 cup sugar and 2 egg yolks. (Set egg whites aside for filling.) NOTE: If you don't want to use raw egg white in the filling, leave it out. Substitute 1 whole egg for the 2 egg yolks in the cookie recipe so you don't end up with leftover whites!!
In a separate bowl sift together 2 cups flour, 5 T cocoa, 1 t baking powder, 1/2 t salt, 1 t baking soda. Add to other mixture alternately with milk, beating well. Add vanilla at the end.
Drop by large spoonful on greased pan. Bake for 10-15 minutes. Remove to wire rack and cool completely.
To Make Filling: Beat together 3/4 cup shortening, 2 cups confectioners' sugar, 2 egg whites and dash of salt till light. Add 1 tsp. vanilla.
To assemble: Spread the flat side of one cookie circle with a spoonful of filling. Top with another.

Here's another pic of my big belly. My husband thinks it's very strange to post it on my blog. I told him he needs to visit more blogs of pregnant women. Or at least a pregnancy list online...he'll see more nakie bellies than he's ever wanted to see! ;)


Here's to the baby coming before Easter!!

No Natural Childbirth for Me

I received some disappointing news today. I went for my weekly OB appointment and she still wasn't able to feel the baby's position for certain, so she sent me for a quick ultrasound. By this time in pregnancy most doctors (and women themselves) are able to tell baby's position, but my numerous fibroids make it impossible. Noah is a footling breach, which means one leg is down and his head is up. Most doctors will not even attempt a vaginal delivery with this kind of breach presentation. There are things we can try in order to turn the baby, but my fibroids make them very unlikely (although not risky, so hopefully we'll still try them!).

I cried when I found out b/c I know that I will likely have a C-section. It doesn't help that when I tell people they are condescending and say things like "well, at least your baby is healthy." I already know that I'm blessed to have a healthy baby and that some people have to deal with true heartbreak during pregnancy and that this is just disappointment...but I still need time to process and deal with the disappointment--and to mourn the labor I was dreaming of having.

At least I know why I've been having such sharp pains in my cervix. Little One is trying to kick his way out, I guess.

And I am lucky that my baby is healthy and I'll feel blessed by and in love with my baby no matter how he enters the world.

Little Miss Miriam

I thought y'all might like to see Little Miriam. This was taken about 3 weeks ago while she was going through a camera-shy phase. She normally is all over getting her pic taken and it's hard to get one without a cheesy grin.



And here's one of me at 33 weeks. Just imagine me being 4+ weeks larger! (If bare bellies or large women bother you, move along, now)...

I'm 37 weeks and 3 days pregnant. This is "more pregnant" than I've been before, as Miriam was born at 36.3 weeks. My back is killing me; I'm measuring 10 weeks ahead (which would be 6-7 weeks OVERDUE); Miriam is such a handful right now, too. She's very possessive--of everything--her mama, her dada, her toys, whoever happens to be within 2 feet of her, etc...

I've got bags packed, but my house is a mess.

It's such a strange position to be in--we were really expecting to have this baby earlier than now, so I FEEL overdue even though the 29th is my due date.

I would love to have this baby before the 29th, but I would love to share by birthday with my little Noah.

My friend Amanda gave birth to her little one yesterday. She was told at 16 weeks that she was either having a little boy or else there was a "big toe" in the way. They said they were 80% sure it was a boy (which I understand is the standard percentage for ultrasounds). Well, it is a girl. Amanda was so shocked. No one believed her when she called and told people. We may have been more likely to believe her if she wasn't the world's biggest practical joker. Anyway, little Amy arrived instead of little Tobias and she is loved, loved, loved.

I can't wait for my little one.

jump again--
Miriam weighed 7 lbs, 5 oz at 36 weeks; any guesses on this baby?? I'm guessing at least 8 lbs.

:)

Wow. It's been a while...with no good excuse, of course.

Miriam's leg healed fine and she's running around (saying "hut, 2, 3, hut, 2, 3...")

I'm almost at the end of my pregnancy and we've not had any of the difficult problems we had during my pregnancy with Miriam. I did have a bit of a preterm scare a couple of weeks ago, but all was fine and I was sent home NOT on bedrest, but with some jittery-making pills to take as needed.

We're having a boy, Noah.

And we found out on Friday that we will most likely be able to adopt my cousin's son. Previously we thought we had permanent guardianship--adoption was just a dream.

Okay, not very witty or informative, but it is a catch up.

Miriam's calling for "more juice", so I need to go.